A Monarch only minus the A&R

Much like the unfathomable beast Cthulhu, I have been roused from my long slumber to unleash my unstoppable power upon the weak, inconsequential race that seems to view themselves as rulers of this world. Unlike Cthulhu, however, I spread blog posts and free music rather than untold destruction and the devouring of souls.

So I was thinking recently what I could do to make this blog stand out and be extra-cool. I mean, if I post a Fugazi album or something, it wouldn't do much to help robot cake to distinguish itself. Everyone listens to Fugazi. What am I to do (don't actually give suggestions, I already came up with an answer)? I'm going to post albums notorious for being difficult to find! Regular readers of robot cake (most of whom I can probably call by name) will remember I've done this with Scream, Dracula, Scream! and Music for a New Society. Today, I will be focusing on an ill-fated release by a rapper who is a serious contender for the greatest of all time, PHAROAHE MONCH.



INTERNAL AFFAIRS was Monch's solo debut after three critically-acclaimed but low-selling records with the group Organized Konfusion. Headlined by the catchy, undeniably badass, and wildly popular single "Simon Says," Internal Affairs shot up the charts, just missing the top 40, and sold hundreds of thousands of copies. Monch's unparalleled flow, vivid imagery, and complex rhymes were finally being appreciated by the general public. Things were going great for the Pharoahe.

However, the four ascending synthesizer blasts that were the backbone of "Simon Says" were illegally sampled from the Godzilla theme song. Toho, the company that owns Godzilla, didn't take too kindly to this, and production of the album stopped and has not resumed to this day. And Pharoahe's career was fucked.

It took eight years for Pharoahe to release his next album (the pretty great Desire, which has yet to sell over 20,000 copies), once stooping so low as to *shudder* ghostwrite raps for (ugh!) P. Diddy. God damn you, Japan, why did you do this to one of the greatest rappers ever to hold the microphone (possibly like a grudge)?

Luckily for you, the album is here for all of you to enjoy. How is it? Well, despite Monch's impassioned declarations of "Y'all know the name/ Pharoahe fuckin' Monch, not a damn thing changed," it was evident (even in just the preceding line) that something had changed. Organized Konfusion was in many ways a typical "underground" group, usually eschewing profanity, thuggery and negativity. Pharoahe here is an angry, cursing, dangerous motherfucker. When he says "get the fuck up," you best get the fuck up. When he says "girls, rub on your titties," you ladies should act accordingly. And guys, too, just to be safe, Pharoahe sounds pissed.

Now I can almost hear you hipster douchebags saying "Why, I never! Negro music with violent and sexist content! Why, that offends my delicate sensibilities! I could never listen to such vulgarity!" Well, I actually kind of agree with you--there's a lot of themes that don't sit well coming from someone like Monch. The track "Rape" is classic Pharoahe in the sense that it uses a well-developed extended metaphor and masterful wordplay. But comparing his rapping skill with rape is just a bit over the line. Still, it's nothing horrible, just a little off-putting, nothing worse than a lot of hardcore rap. It's pretty obvious he jammed in these themes so the record would sell better (and it worked). I mean, Pharoahe Monch as a thug? I'm not really buying that.

Despite these reservations, it's still a fucking classic. Why? Because it's Pharoahe Monch, like I said, one of the greatest of all time. He's got the best flow I've ever heard (he makes Rakim sound like a child), and he can write rhymes like nobody's business. After all, Pharoahe only appears on five full length albums, each one is a fucking treasure to be loved for all time. Some might accuse Monch of compromising to sell better, but he sure as hell didn't sell out.

Here is Internal Affairs:
http://www.mediafire.com/?uegjz04c0yx

And just because I'm an awesome guy, here's his recent album, Desire, which is much less thuggy and more in line with the rest of Pharoahe's work, and Organized Konfusion's self titled debut (Releasing Hypnotical Gases would be mindblowingly ahead of its time even if it were released today):
http://www.mediafire.com/?dk2yrxqhazv (Desire)
http://www.mediafire.com/?tm3zimohly2 (Organized Konfusion)